Friday, December 2, 2011

Save the Drama for Your Llama.

Two years ago, 
I heard about something that BYU students do every year called
"Llama Caroling."

It was a friday night, those two years ago, and I didn't have much to do, 
so I decided, what the heck,
it's LLAMAS! 
And I went. 

It. Was. Fantastic. 

Llama caroling two years ago. Fun fun times.

Caroling? Collecting Canned food to give to the poor? LLAMAS?!
What could be better?!

Sadly it didn't work out for me to go last year
so I vowed I wouldn't miss out on the adventure this year.

And boy oh boy was it an adventure to remember.


"Carollama" as it is now called
has become much more organized in the last years.
They are an official club and you have to buy tickets and everything.

I found out that my friends from home
Alexi and Katelyn were going to be there. 
That just made me want to go all the more! 

We met at the Law Library parking lot to pick up our Llama
and buy our tickets. 
[getting the tickets was an adventure of itself!
They wouldn't give me and Katelyn the discounted price
because we weren't on a "DATE"! What the heck.
Lucky for me Katelyn used her persuasive (law school) ablilites
and they ended up giving us the deal after all :)]
We waited in the parking lot for about 40 minutes before we left to do the caroling. 
Somehow I ended up with the reins of one of the Llamas and we quickly became best buds.

Can't you see how much he loves me?! :)
That's when I learned a few things about Llamas:
1. Llamas have extremely thick fur. 

2. Llamas have horrible breath. 

3. Llamas like being with other llamas.

4. Llamas are very good at listening, 
but not very good at following directions or communicating. 

5. Llamas LOVE me :)

The evening was off to a great start. 
It was cold, but after last time I was prepared and came quite bundled! 

The problem began just as my group was leaving the parking lot
 and somebody TOOK MYYYY llama!!! 
I'm still not entirely sure why...
but because of that horrible twist of fate...
we got stuck with. . . the alpacas.

At first I didn't mind so much,
I thought the alpacas were kinda cute, 
but it didn't take long for me to learn the truth about Alpacas:

1. Alpacas are just sheep that are trying to pass as Llamas.

2. Alpacas are bitter at the world that they aren't llamas, and take their anger out on everyone.

 3. Alpacas are really just a sad excuse for Llamas.

Don't let their cuteness fool you. Those animals are out of control!!!
We decided to go to a neighborhood not too far away, 
but trying to haul those things up 9th East with car headlights coming directly at them 
was not happening. 

(I really can't blame them though, I'm sure it's tough to be an alpaca (refer to #3 above.))

It was a struggle,
[It didn't help that cars would honk at us...
I don't understand why people think honking at the animals is going to help the situation...]
but after much effort,
 we were FINALLY able to cross the street into residentials
and then the little demons calmed down a bit.

(I would love to have been in the car,
driving down 9th East, minding my own business, 
when out of nowhere I see a group of 5 college students
walking across the street dragging two alpacas behind them.

The next hour or so was pretty fun. 
We went house to house, 
singing Christmas songs and asking for canned food. 

It's amazing how excited people get when they open the door
and low and behold there is a LLAMA. 
(but then they realize it's actually just an alpaca and they get disappointed. 
haha just kidding. Usually they don't know the difference and are simply overjoyed.) 

Sadly, not many people were home. 
But we sang to them anyway.
Well, to their empty houses.
I'm sure they still appreciated it :)

Eventually, it was time to take the Llamas 
(excuse me, Alpacas...ugh. i'm still bitter. WE GOT GYPPED!)
back to the trailer, which had been moved to the Marriot center parking lot.

Shrimpy alpacas who wish they were llamas.

Apparently, the guy in charge had had a great idea:
Advertise Carollama by standing outside the Marriot Center
and pass out fliers!
(to the people coming out of "Christmas Around the World".)

It seemed like a pretty reasonable request at the time . . .

We were waiting for the show to end and for the masses to come out when disaster struck.
I was standing there, holding the leash/reigns? of the brown alpaca
(the one that is even more out of control) 
and next thing I know, I am being launched through the air 
by a crazed alpaca and slammed smack into the back/shoulder area
of a random guy that was standing a few feet away from me! 

 This was not a little bump we are talking about.
This was full on nose-and-mouth SLAMMAGE into his shoulder. 
It. Was. Hilarious.
The absolute worst part? NO ONE else saw it!!!
I was practically throwing myself (literally...with the alpaca's help) at a stranger
I was dying laughing. My eyes instantly watering because of the impact and
there were NO witnesses. 
Sad. Sad. Sad.

A short time later:
We are standing by the exit doors
with our Llamas, 
(this time i ACTUALLY had a llama,
they left the crazy good-for-nothing alpacas at the trailer)
fliers in hand, 
ready for the masses to exit the Marriot Center,
when this lady comes outside and she is clearly. . .
"anything but excited" to see those lovely little llamas.

She tells us we need to leave "NOW." 
I try to find the guy in charge to tell him that this lady is quite perturbed,
(no no, perturbed isn't nearly strong enough...'livid' would be more accurate)
but when I find him he doesn't look too concerned.
He just goes on his merry way, inviting people to learn more about Carollama.

That is..

until the police showed up... 

I was seriously dying laughing.
The police were too.
Well...the assistants.
The "head honcho", however, was not laughing .
He did not seem like the "laughy type."
He took everyone (yes, everyone's) I.Ds and then kindly pointed out that
"Dogs aren't even allowed on campus without a permit, and llamas definitely aren't."
I kept laughing.

Since I didn't have my I.D card on me,
I had to be "interviewed" by one of the assistant's.
He wrote down ALL of my information
 (including address, telephone number and major)
I felt like a real, bona fide criminal :)

But hey, It was worth it.

he was showing his teeth for the pic ;)

"We are innocent!"

PLUS. If I'm gonna have a record--it doesn't get much better than
"possession of llamas on BYU campus with out a permit" :)

PS My nose still hurts from being flung through the air by that deranged alpaca and hitting guy's shoulder...

PSS In all honesty, I don't think we can legally be held responsible for this misunderstanding. I was merely following the direction that was given and did not know I was breaking any laws. For the record, If I HAD thought I would get into serious trouble I definitely would not have been laughing. 

PSSS. Now I just have to keep my eyes pealed for anything in the "Police Beat" about llamas! :) 


  1. Oh my goodness Hannah! You just gave me a REALLY good laugh for today! Sooo flippin' funny! Love you girl. :)

  2. I'm loving all the long and detailed posts lately. Keep it up :) Can't wait to see you soon!!

  3. This is soooo funny! Possession of llamas on BYU campus without a permit! You evil girl, you! I can just see the self-righteous (bwa-ha-ha) police guy, probably the same one whose patience has been all used up by catching less-innocent criminals like Stephen dropping watermelons off of the bell tower.